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McAlli

Dribble Monkey
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Hello everyone who actually still watches this page,


I apologize every time I go away for months on end, and I'm just shit about staying around this place with little motivation to do so -- not to mention a lot of things have been happening lately so I just haven't had much time for like..anything. But things should get better soon.

To do a short recap of the past couple of months:

1) I dropped out of UNCA
2) I moved in with t3h-b4n3
3) I got my head tested, lol

It's a long, long ring of bullshit that happened but at the end of the day, I'm in a better place -- physically and mentally. A lot of things have been figured out and re-smoothed and I'm getting better- so I should be able to get better about being such a far away person all the time. 

A lot of things have come to light that make a lot of sense, especially in myself, so I'm dealing with that stuff. If old friends are interested in the full story, I'd be happy to chat. Here or on Skype, or via email, it doesn't matter much to me. I would like to get back in touch with the people I've lost, though. But only if they want.

Anywho. I'm not gunna prattle on, just wanted to let everyone know that I was still alive and send out an invitation for talk and stuff, if anyone is interested. You can also find me on my Tumblr -- I'm there a lot.

Oh, and my Youtube gaming channel sort of fell through but I'm thinking about starting a Youtube vlog where I do book reviews, so if anyone would be interested in that, please let me know because it would be pretty cool if my friends were into that.

--McAlli
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Rebuild

3 min read
Hello everyone-who-still-follows-me,

I know it's been a really long time since I've popped up around here. I've only checked once or twice to manage messages and make sure no one is looking for me. And, what that comes down to, is that I've been a shitty friend. So, here's another apology. I'm really sorry that I've dropped off the face of the earth for you guys. I had so many great friends here and I've neglected every single one of them. That's not what friends do.

Ever since I was kicked out of Outcast Academy, I've been drifting away from dA. After the fiasco between Sanity, Autumn, and I, I didn't feel safe posting art here anymore. I felt like I was going to get attacked on every picture. I've drawn a lot, but I haven't posted any of it here because I don't feel like I can trust anyone anymore. Being attacked for using references completely shattered my desire to show others my art. So that caused me to stop drawing for my groups, which means most of them have dropped me. I apologize for joining and then doing nothing. I was struggling to find a sense of normally in other groups and it didn't work like I wanted it to.

On top of that, ever since I was kicked from OA, I felt as though I couldn't be friends with any of the members anymore. I don't know why, but I felt like I was just supposed to vanish from their memories forever or something. So, I want to fix that as well. If anyone who is a member of OA still wants to me friends with me, please send me a note. I miss a ton of you, like Puppy, Monkee, Em, Spirit, and Multi. I thought we were good friends, and I dropped the ball because I just thought...I dunno, I just thought I would be intruding. Having friends who dislike each other is difficult, so if you don't want to talk to me anymore, I understand. I don't want to make anything difficult for anyone.

I'm not going to really go into anything that's happened since my last journal. It's basically just school, work, and struggling with free time. I just wanted to make this journal to let everyone know that I'm still alive, I guess. And that I'd like to re-engage in friendships if it's possible. Please just shoot me a message if you want to get back in touch. If not, I won't bother you anymore.

--McAlli
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SO yeah

3 min read
It's been a long time since I've written a dA Journal, and that's mostly because I haven't had anything to say. I've been busy and distracted and ultimately drawn away from this website, and I feel a little bit of disappointment about it, honestly.
I'm going to go ahead and say that I don't know when I'll become more active on this site again. I'll be completely honest with everyone: Ever since I was kicked from Outcast Academy, it's been difficult to be here. It's just not the same. The excitement that came with the group is gone, and I can't seem to rekindle it in any other groups I've attempted to join. So it's just safe to say that I'll be dropping all the RP groups I'm currently a part of and going on a sort of hiatus. I'm sorry to anyone who was interested in my characters.
I'll still be hovering around. I'll reply if you send me messages or comments, but I doubt I'll be posting a lot of art or literature. That isn't to say that I haven't been working on anything. I just won't be posting it here unless it's for a friend or something.
I feel really shitty about it, honestly, but I can't work up the drive to hang out here like I used to. I'd rather be doing other things that don't make me think of....complicated shit. I'm completely done with that drama so I don't need anything reminding me of it. Though if anyone is excessively curious about it (like Multi was lol) then I guess I can give out my half of a very depressing and complicated story. Shout out to Darqx for supportive stuff (THOUGH YOU REALLY SUCK AT BEING ON SKYPE YOU KNOW).
I'm more attracted to my Tumblr than my dA right now. Don't worry, I don't post a lot of art there, only things for Darqx to look at on occasion. It's really no big deal. Just a bunch of yelling about gay shit and a good selection of porn. So, right on.

In other news, if anyone is interested:
I've had a lot of doctor's visits recently, and it turns out that I do not suffer from PCOS. So there's something else wrong that's throwing off my body chemistry. I guess we'll figure out what's going on before the start of the new school semester.
While my relationship with my family is slightly strained, my love life is pretty healthy, so there's that.
School is whatever. Gunna be a teacher. If I fail, I'm moving to live under t3h-b4n3's bed.

My buddy Adam and I are going to start up a YouTube channel soon.
If you like video games, then please visit and watch a few of our vids...when we finally get up and running. We're still planning it out, but it's going to be a lot of fun. Adam and I strive to make people laugh and we love playing games together, so if you want to, think about dropping by. The channel will be called "Eli & Boon".

That's basically it, I guess? Nothing much to say.
Other than what the hell is with this new posting layout. I don't need all this. Sta.sh and dA and what.
Also fuck you I want to use MY journal skin, shut your whore mouth.
Anyways.
See you around, guys.

--McAlli
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Stuff

5 min read
My premium membership ran out and now my page looks weird as hell. If I could afford it, I'd totally renew it, but that's probably not going to happen anytime soon. Either way, thanks to SereanaDaisyBuns to giving me one in the first place. :heart:

My activity on dA has left something to be desired and I owe all of my friends here an apology, as well as the people in the groups I have joined lately. Some things have been going on, and I've been pretty busy, or just downright lazy. The end of the semester is upon me and summer break is literally only a few days away. I hope to be able to get a job this summer, but it doesn't look like it's going to be easy in the slightest. In either case, I'll be trying to spend more time here. I know I've said that multiple times before but I'm really going to try harder this time. I have a lot of friends here who have stuck with me for a number of years, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss all of you.

I've mostly been away from dA thanks to my "retirement" from Outcast Academy. Honestly, dA isn't the same without me being a part of the group I helped build from the ground up. Almost nothing seems fun anymore, and I've joined other groups in an attempt to get back into the swing of old fun, but so far, nothing has come of it. Otherworlde is filled with kind people, but too many people who know everyone else--and I feel like an outsider, smothered whenever I attempt to ease into the chat, which results in me simply  leaving without getting much done. Eden is also full of very nice people, many of which greeted me the moment I was accepted, but I often find myself confused and disoriented with many of the events and such going on.
Depending on how things go, I will probably be dropping from most of the RP groups until I can get into a more stable situation with my own feelings about deviantArt. I think I've got an idea about how to do that, but it will depend upon a dear friend of mine that I have not spoken to in a long while. It will also depend on whether or not I can completely cut some ties here, that will hopefully allow me to relax a little and not stew over things so much.
Maybe, we'll see.

As for current art projects, most of them have to do with t3h. I've done a fair amount of drawing in the past while, just none of it has made it onto dA and I'll figure out if I can fix that. Same goes for writing as well.

My summer project will be completely refurbishing and posting "Reaper", an HH-AU fanfiction for my bestest friend Darqx. It has been stagnate for far too long, considering that it was supposed to be an equal-parts exchange for her picture, "All of my Days". The picture came and I posted the first chapter of the story, but the ball was completely dropped by my now-ex-writing partner. Now that I have been given the rights to all of the stories I shared with that person, I will get back to work with finishing that story and getting it up for those who are wondering what happened to it.

That being said, Underground Chronicles is still being worked on. Don't worry, we've all been a little distracted by exams.

Anywho.
I don't really have anything else to say, and I'm writing this from the safety of my after-exam computer time so I want to get out of here and go get something to eat with what little money I have left, lol.
I hope to see you all around sometime.
Hope everyone has done very well with their exams and is excited for the summer! :heart:

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Writing a Journal from the early morning haze of my Computer Science class. This is the glory of not having filters on school computers, and yes indeed, there have been many school computers in my life that have filtered out dA. Quite depressing. But not as depressing as the fact that I can't seem to write a Journal on the comfort of my own computer. I don't know what's been going on with me lately.

I've been feeling sort of disjointed, and I'm certain it's because of the stress my PreCalc class had been putting on me. Six hours of math every Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday and then a class full of lectures and tests on Wednesday and Friday....let's just say that my math-inept brain wasn't having it. So the result is, I have dropped that class, and I will soon have to switch my Major in to avoid math entirely. I think I'm going to become an English Major--I've always wanted to be an English Professor, so we'll see what happens.

As for recreational stuff:
Darqx, I'm getting ever closer to the end of your Sketchbook. You should get it before May. I hope.
Currently redoing my Application for Eden-de-Ys, and working on my homework for Otherworlde.
Designing two characters for Saria-Sama 's new group. It looks wicked cool so wtf not.

I would seem a lot more productive if I would just post stuff. I mean, I've got a lot of drawings just sort of hanging out in folders on my computer. I could just put them up. :iconadamblackpp: But I'm not motivated enough to do that either. Maybe I'll do a Kiriban or something. Get myself going. If anyone would be interested...my page was all by attacked by AMGKatt last time. Or maybe I'll just do some requests. If anyone would be interested in those. T3h you are disqualified because everything I've drawn in the past months has been for you.

Anyways.

I don't really have any other news. Things are okay now that I'm not in Precal anymore. You have no idea the weight that takes off of me.

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